Handling your fiancee dating other men to keep her sexuality a secret?

Question by Jess: Handling your fiancee dating other men to keep her sexuality a secret?
My fiancee’s father has lost his ever loving mind, and my mother-in-law cant even work with him anymore.

As of yesterday he has told her she needs to stop playing, be serious and date to find a husband.

This is what we get for secretly being engaged and not telling them, although i think my mother in law knows.

Neither of us know how to handle this. he wont let her move out, (over his dead body) and she doesnt want to cause major problems at home, so she asked me if i would be mad is she went out on a couple of dates with a guy from church to keep him off of her.

HOW THE HELL DO I HANDLE THIS! I cant stand the thought of anyone else being with her. She assured me nothing would happen, but you know some guys cant keep their hands to themselves no matter what the culture dictates (she is Arabic-Christian).

She said she wouldn’t do it if it upset me and i would be mad, but i don’t want to make her not do something. I would rather she choose to tell her father no.

But I cant make her. She has already made several allowances for him. He dictates when she come and goes, threw out a lot of her clothes to control how she dresses, dragged her to church so she could be interrogated by some lady about what kind of wife she would be, and NOW THIS?
What will he ask next?

I dunno and Im being unreasonable since i know her situation isnt easy and i want to be there because I love her with all my heart and I want a future with her. Last week we were talking about having kids and whether we wanted a pre-nup or not…now…i cant see how we can make this work unless she learns to stand her ground as an adult.

Yeah I changed the password so i could vent on this post, and she wont see it. yes now i’m hiding things from her…ugh

what do i do? We talked last night and I told her to do what is best for her….but i cant stand the thought of her dating someone else.
We are both in our 20s.

Best answer:

Answer by cat
Ummmmm, I definatly don’t think you’re being unreasonable.
I would actually be ANGRY at her for not being proud of/showing off your love. I would be so upset if my significant other went on a date with anyone else, I can’t even stand him looking at anyone else (I know, a bit extreme).
How old are you guys? She CAN move out, he CANNOT stop her if she is above 18 years of age (which I assume she is because you guys are engaged). She needs to do something for herself now, and although she feels like it would cause many problems at home, your relationship is not the problem, and she needs to set herself free.
This is obviously putting a lot of strain on you and stress on her, and it WILL effect the relationship in a negative way. This is what happens when you hide something as big as engagement, although the situation with her dad seems quite tough so I shouldn’t judge.

Honestly, I think that she needs to move out or her life will continue to go down, and will become a living hell (more than it already is).

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

Why gay men act like that in gay chatroom?

Question by MFD: Why gay men act like that in gay chatroom?
They are not looking for love.

They were scrolling, call me, call me, call me.
Others… scrolling porn website

Who is bott** or to*

They really act like who*es?

Is it okay to ask this question, monitors?

Anyway, many of them are married… they act like real husband and father… with dark dark secrets…

I am really scare of men. That is why I won’t date men… they are really creepy.
even some men are like Eliot Spitzer.

Best answer:

Answer by ♪Trumpet ♥ Lover♪
It’s like that on all chat rooms. Not just gay ones. It’s pretty sad that the only experience you have of men is on creepy chat rooms. Maybe get out of the house once and a while.

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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Secret #30 – I am not a man of mystery

Secret #30 – I am not a man of mystery
dating secrets for men
Image by donnjmck
Yay!!! I did it – and you have no idea how much of an accomplishment that is for me (I am the king of starting things and not finishing).

I decided that my final "secret" would be that when it comes to me, there really aren’t any secrets. I am an open book and will talk about anything regarding my life – but only if I understand your intentions. If I think someone is asking me for information about myself to use against me at a later date I wont divulge. However if I think the interest is genuine and an attempt to get to know me then it’s all good. I decided to participate with this project because I really believe that the more we all tell our stories (through words or photos) the more accepting we become of each other. The 30 things I decided to share were mainly things I could come up with an image to match. There were other things I tried and considered that didn’t make it – either the image didn’t quite work or I didn’t have time to set it up or I just couldn’t think of how to accomplish what I wanted. Some of the "secrets" that didn’t make it:

As cute as both of my dogs are they both have funky habits. Buster (my boy dog) has been known to drag his ass on the carpet to wipe. Gross, yes, but he is also part weiner dog so his body is too long for him to do it properly. And Mary is a submissive pee’r. We have to greet her outside when we get home because we never know when she is going to let loose. Apparently there was an episode of "Six Feet Under" that I missed where David & Keith went to a party and the hosts told them to not make eye contact with their dog because it would shit if they did – I do the same things at parties with Mary – I have to tell people to not talk to her in a high pitched sing-song voice or if they feel the need they should take her outside.

I also have NO IDEA why Cher, Judy and Barbara (and the many other "divas") are so popular among my fellow gays. I have tried and just DO NOT get it. In fact, I lived in SF during the height of Cher’s "Believe" and I swear to god if I never hear that song again it would be too soon. I lived right behind "The Cafe" in the Castro and every night at 1:45am I’d wake up to that f’in song being played as the last song. Then I’d have to listen as the cars started up and those f’in queens would be blaring it as they drove away. It was like being in Hell. One of the exceptions to this is Madonna – she is amazing.

I also wanted more than anything else when I was young to be a Playboy photographer. Not that I was into the naked women in a sexual way, but I loved the gatefold photography. I also loved the idea that a "girl next door" who happens to be a student/nurse/secretary/bank teller/whatever can be turned into a sex symbol for a month. I totally bought into the whole concept. I still to this day subscribe and I guess the term "I read it for the articles" really does apply to me (although in recent years the quality of the magazine has diminished quite significantly – both in terms of the editorial content and the photographic quality. They no longer use the old 8×10 camera to shoot the centerfold and have switched to a medium format camera – the results are drastic in terms of clarity, depth, and warmth in case you were wondering).

I will try to post more as time allows. And I honestly want to thank all of you for your comments, suggestions, and words of wisdom. Getting to "know" some of you through this process has been a real treat!

Dating Secrets for Men – How to Make a Woman Fall Hard For You

Dating Secrets for Men – How to Make a Woman Fall Hard For You

Dating Secrets for Men – How to Make a Woman Fall Hard For You

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Home Page > Relationships > Dating > Dating Secrets for Men – How to Make a Woman Fall Hard For You

Dating Secrets for Men – How to Make a Woman Fall Hard For You

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Posted: Nov 12, 2010 |


What happens to you when you see a drop dead gorgeous woman that you really want to get with badly? Are you the kind of guy that will act right in the moment and approach her without thinking about it at all? Or are you the kind of guy that watches her from afar and thinks about how cool it would be to get her but does nothing at all to make it happen? Unfortunately, most guys tend to be in that last group, as they will see a beautiful woman, one that they would very much want to be able to approach, and they end up doing nothing about it at all.

That does not have to be the case forever. You can learn a few dating secrets for men that can change all of that and help you to be the guy that gets the girl and it does not have to be a daunting thing at all. It can actually be kind of easy for you.

Here are a few dating secrets for men that will make a woman fall hard for you:

1. Approaching a woman is one of the hardest things to get comfortable with, but when you do… it opens up a world of no limits for YOU.

Not being able to approach a woman is one of the biggest obstacles that most guys face in their lives. Instead of being able to seize the opportunity and walk up to a woman and start a conversation that builds attraction, most guys do nothing but have a look and that’s it. How disappointing is that? It does not always come easy at first, but in time and with the right techniques, you can make approaching a woman become dead easy and you can then confidently approach any woman that you want to.

2. Women do not want to be picked up by any guy, but they do want to meet a guy that knows how to make her feel hot.

Women go out to clubs and bars with the hopes of meeting a guy that knows how to sweep them off of their feet, but very few actually go out with the hopes that they get “picked up.” If you have the mindset of trying to pick up women, you won’t do as well as if you have the mindset of just meeting women and creating rapport and attraction.

3. Being an average guy can actually make it easier for you to get a really good looking woman.

Why would I say this? Because most good looking women get approached by guys that think they are super smooth and when you can approach a woman and come off a little differently… that makes you stand out. And it’s normal for a woman to find it refreshing and attractive to meet a guy who stands out. You can be that guy.


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Chris Tyler
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Want to get more *advanced* dating secrets for men that will make it EASY for you to attract any woman you desire?

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Copyright © 2010 Chris Tyler All Rights Reserved.


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106/365: 1987-1988

106/365: 1987-1988
dating secrets for men
Image by bloody marty mix
Tuesday, 09 September 2008.

40 Years in 40 Days [ view the entire set ]
An examination and remembrance of a life at 40.

For the 40 days leading up to my 40th birthday, I intend to use my 365 Days project to document and remember my life and lay bare what defines me. 40 years, 40 qualities, 40 days.

Year 20: 1987-1988

As per usual, the first week back at school at the start of my sophomore year was actually spent in Wisconsin at marching band camp. And, as per usual, hookups were de rigueur. I had my sights set on a freshman mellophone player. We kissed a few times at band camp, and then once or twice back on campus, but that was all there was to that. He said he wanted to be a sports reporter, but the Great Gazoogle tells me he is now a lawyer. No matter, there was another freshman who soon captured my heart.

There are usually more marching band members than there are positions on the field for the pre-game show, so there are several band members who are assigned other band members as alternates. Charlie was my alternate. Eventually, the person I was marching next to got promoted to drum major, and Charlie took her spot instead. We marched next to each other all season, and quickly became thoroughly smitten with each other. From the start, I thought I had Charlie all figured out just from the look of him. He was gregarious and jocular, and wore his hair in a buzz cut. I assumed he was a Naval ROTC because nobody wore their hair that way unless they were a ROTC (pronounced rot-see). And I assumed that, like me, he was from a relatively low-income background, for reasons I can’t remember now. I couldn’t have been more wrong on both counts, though I didn’t find out he was wealthy until long after I’d gotten involved with him.

Charlie helped me through one of the roughest patches of college. My lack of study habits was finally catching up with me. Halfway through fall quarter, I was failing all of my classes. One day while we were out getting dinner I just started crying, and when I told Charlie what was going on, he said he’d study with me, and we’d get through it. We spent every weekend at the library together, from the time it opened in the morning until it closed at night. I had never worked so hard in my life. In the end, I pulled my ass out of the fire and got three B’s and a C.

Charlie and I broke up in December. His father was convinced I was a gold-digger. I think Charlie knew that it wasn’t true; I thought he was poor for weeks into our relationship, right up until he casually mentioned something about "the hangar where we keep our plane." But, he was very close to his parents, and his father’s comments had left him unsettled. The breakup was both amicable and sad.

One night, in late winter, I decided on the spur of the moment to put on my coat and go out. The annual Dance Marathon was going on at the student center, and I thought I might go check it out. On my way in, I ran into a couple of guys I recognized as Chuck and Sherman, the photographers who often shot our sorority events. We struck up a conversation, and eventually, Sherman told me they were on their way down to Lincoln Park to hit some bars, and asked me if I wanted to join them. I said yes. Foolish, I know, but it worked out. Sherman and I dated for several months, and I was madly in love with him. We had the kind of crazy chemistry that makes it take two or three tries to successfully break up when it’s over. (Even years later, he called me out of the blue to tell me he always had a feeling we’d end up back together. We didn’t.)

I spent the summer in Chicago, working downtown for a distant step-great-uncle (or something). I became one of the daily, jostling mass of commuters, riding the express line from Howard to Merchandise Mart (about a 15-20 minute ride in those days, before they started stopping at Belmont and Fullerton). The CTA hadn’t retired all of the old non-air-conditioned el cars yet, and they were often used for the Express. Maybe they figured, since it was the Express, people wouldn’t be on it for long enough to care, but they were wrong. The Express was usually packed full of people, standing ass-to-briefcase, sweating, grabbing each others shoulders and arms to keep from falling. If you didn’t have a seat by an open window, you were screwed. Screwed, that is, unless you were in on the secret. I discovered the secret accidentally one day, while I was moving from one car to another to try to find room to breathe. When I opened the door from one car to move into the other, I saw a couple of people just standing there between the cars, holding on to the hand holds, blissed out grins on their faces as the scenery raced by. It was downright cool out there, with the air rushing by. I walked through the next car, and out the next door, and finding that spot empty, took up residence there for the rest of the summer.

Who am I?

I am apparently nothing more than a series of boyfriends

… or so it seems. But, that pretty much was what my life was like in college and my early 20’s. I had defined myself exclusively in relation to men, and so those are the markers I put down.

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